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How Do You Hug a Cactus? Reflective Parenting with Teenagers in Mind

Author(s) : Sheila Redfern

Reviews and Endorsements

All parents across all cultures and countries can relate to the challenges in parenting teens. In this clearly written book using everyday language, Sheila Redfern has managed to produce the guide that caregivers have been waiting for. Grounded in evidence-based practice and filled with relatable real-life examples, she provides compassionate guidance for increasing our capacity to understand and respond to our teens’ behaviours. This is a must-read book - not only for parents and caregivers, but also for the professionals who support them.
Carla Sharp, PhD, John and Rebecca Moores Professor at University of Houston

Understanding the neuroscience of the changing teenage brain can really help parents to empathise and connect with their teenage children. Sheila Redfern is an inspirational psychologist with a truly engaging story to tell about parenting, growth and how to nurture the growing teenage brain.
Sophie Scott, CBE FBA FMedSci, Professor, Director, Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience, UCL

Shepherding a young person through the tumultuous journey of adolescence and early adulthood is arguably the most challenging and emotionally charged responsibility many of us undertake. Redfern brilliantly applies the developmental science of mentalizing - the ability to understand and interpret the thoughts and feelings of young people, as well as recognizing their impact on our own mental states - to construct a powerful and coherent parenting approach. This comes into play especially when dealing with adolescents who seem determined to disrupt any form of such consistency. In this landmark book, Sheila Redfern deploys her remarkable clinical acumen and her innovative model of Reflective Parenting to help navigate this often-daunting task. Redfern’s work brims with practical solutions to the manifold problems parents are likely to face, drawing from her wealth of insight and extensive clinical experience. It’s a book that not only understands the trials and tribulations of raising adolescents but also provides effective strategies to handle them. Whether you're striving to guide a young person as they grapple with the complexities of growing up or seeking to offer the most effective support as they stride into adulthood, this book is a priceless tool. I firmly believe it's the finest guide presently available, offering an enduring and invaluable contribution to the field of parenting adolescents.
Peter Fonagy, FMedSci FBA OBE, Professor and Head, Research Department of Clinical, Educational Psychology, University College London: Chief Executive, Anna Freud, London